FDI: A Short Screenplay

Today's show is brought to you by my parents, who taught me to be ever-vigilant about grammar, punctuation, and spelling. In addition to the usual social capital benefits, this lesson has provided me with countless moments of mirth over the years as I discover amusing errors in other people's (and my own) writing.

For example, as I was wading through the introduction to a paper on the political economy of foreign direct investment this afternoon, I noticed a good one. The author, who shall remain unnamed since I am mocking him,* had the following to say about the effect of foreign direct investment on developing economies.

"FDI is also a means of generating employment--both directly, though the foreign firm, and through the indirect effects on the economy, such as domestic industries emerging to compliment the new foreign firms."

Without further ado, I bring you...

FOREIGN DIRECT INVESTMENT: A SCREENPLAY

By Emily Clough

Scene: A developing country.

Domestic industry [emerging]: Hi there.

New foreign firm: Oh, hello.

Domestic industry: Your potential for technology transfer is very becoming.

New foreign firm: Uhhh, thanks. Um, I actually need some inputs from you so I can launch local production. Do you have any?

Domestic industry: No. But has anyone ever told you that your income projections really sparkle when you invest?

New foreign firm: [confused] Uh...okay. I just need some raw materials and manufactured inputs so that I can thrive as a domestic subsidiary of a multinational enterprise. Don't you have any of those things?

Domestic industry: [chipper] Can't say that I do. But you're cute when you search for sourcing opportunities.

New foreign firm: [frustrated] I thought when I arrived, domestic industries were supposed to emerge to complement my firm!

Domestic industry: I don't know what you're talking about, but your production plans are so clever and compelling! And I LOVE how your labor policy emphasizes your corporate ethics. Smashing.

New foreign firm: [exasperated] CURSES! WHY CAN'T POLITICAL ECONOMISTS SPELL?!?!?!

*Jensen, Nathan. "Democratic Governance and Multinational Corporations: Political Regimes and Inflows of Foreign Direct Investment" International Organization Summer 2003.

You Know It's Been a Good Day at Grad School When...(#1)

...you spend 10 hours writing code in a freezing-cold basement computer lab, surrounded by your classmates (who are doing the same thing), and toward the end of the evening, a friend looks over your shoulder, sees a section of code that you've just written (which, when run, produces a simple but--you'd like to think--elegant 5x6 table), and begins to tear up. There is a moment of hushed stillness. "It's beautiful," she says softly. And you sigh in happiness, because you know she is right.

And then you realize that the two of you have managed to generate an alarming amount of emotion in reaction to ten lines of nonsensical-looking characters. But you don't care. Because your problem set is done, and you leave the lab to find food and a debate-watching spot with the knowledge that you Kicked Your Problem Set's Ass! Plus, you've got an evening of hilarity ahead: what could be more entertaining than a carbon copy of Miss Teen South Carolina 2007 trying to run for Vice President of the United States?!